So… hey. I’ve gone MIA for a while and I really have
no excuse, tbh. Life has gotten in the way and my health and my blog have gone
on the back burner. Discouragement sucks. So… lets re-cap.
I will NOT hit my #30by30 goal this
year. I think I may have hit it… the other way around. Which is disappointing. And #31by31 isn’t
really that motivational… since I’ll have OVER a year to accomplish it… I’ll
turn 30 on the 26th of this month. I doubt we’ll be celebrating, so there’s
not much to look forward to since I won’t be hitting that goal. My high school
bestie was here last week for a couple of days, which was present enough since
its such a long way from her home. My
local bestie is moving the day of my birthday, so I’ll probably be packing a
u-haul and crying most of the day. Age
is just a number, and it’s never really bothered me, so it’s not like I’m dreading
it or anything. My mom usually forgets my birthday, so I won’t hold my breath
for that, and my honey has been thinking real hard… but since I don’t have many
friends, it’s pretty tough to do much. I’m just happy to reach one more
milestone in my life since there are so many people who don’t get that chance.
I’ve taken a hiatus from working out,
eating right, and all things healthy. It
just happened. Family reunions and camping, holidays, and work just didn’t keep
me motivated. I KNOW what I have to do, but doing it is a whole other thing. I
get discouraged very easily and while I know nothing can change until I absolutely
make the change, something’s gotta give.
I stepped on the scale for the
first time in… well, forever… and my number is the highest its ever
been. Ugh. I’m so disgusted with myself. But mentally, I’m just not there.
So how do I get there? What do you
do to “get motivated” and stay that way? I don’t want to be fat. But I also don’t
want to starve. I love food. It’s my addiction. I hate being sweaty. Working out is hard. But
I know it has to be done to do anything about the way I look and feel. Why are we
always so consumed with an easy fix? Why don’t want we ever want to work hard
for stuff like that? I’ll be completely honest.
I’m always looking for the next best thing to help me in my weight loss
journey. I’m not above trying drinks, shakes, pills… you name it, I’ve probably
done it. And it works for me for a
while. It’s like I need it to give me a
shove and to make me think, “I can do this…” I know, I know… hard work,
determination, and accountability are the only things that are going to work.
Blah, blah… I just want it to be easy dammit. Why can’t it be easier?
Maybe I’m
just lazy. I work hard at everything
else in my life, so why not at trying to lose weight and be healthy? I hate the
way I look, that I’m the largest person in my WHOLE family… so how am I not
determined? And I can’t expect anyone else to hold me accountable if I can’t
even hold myself accountable? What do you do to stay on track (or get back on
track)? What has helped you the most to really get to it? What is the biggest
thing that was your turning point?
