Discouragement. It's a real thing...

So… hey.  I’ve gone MIA for a while and I really have no excuse, tbh. Life has gotten in the way and my health and my blog have gone on the back burner. Discouragement sucks. So… lets re-cap.

I will NOT hit my #30by30 goal this year. I think I may have hit it… the other way around.  Which is disappointing. And #31by31 isn’t really that motivational… since I’ll have OVER a year to accomplish it… I’ll turn 30 on the 26^th of this month. I doubt we’ll be celebrating, so there’s not much to look forward to since I won’t be hitting that goal. My high school bestie was here last week for a couple of days, which was present enough since its such a long way from her home.  My local bestie is moving the day of my birthday, so I’ll probably be packing a u-haul and crying most of the day.  Age is just a number, and it’s never really bothered me, so it’s not like I’m dreading it or anything. My mom usually forgets my birthday, so I won’t hold my breath for that, and my honey has been thinking real hard… but since I don’t have many friends, it’s pretty tough to do much. I’m just happy to reach one more milestone in my life since there are so many people who don’t get that chance.

I’ve taken a hiatus from working out, eating right, and all things healthy.  It just happened. Family reunions and camping, holidays, and work just didn’t keep me motivated. I KNOW what I have to do, but doing it is a whole other thing. I get discouraged very easily and while I know nothing can change until I absolutely make the change, something’s gotta give.  I stepped on the scale for the  first time in… well, forever… and my number is the highest its ever been. Ugh. I’m so disgusted with myself. But mentally, I’m just not there. 

So how do I get there? What do you do to “get motivated” and stay that way? I don’t want to be fat. But I also don’t want to starve.  I love food.  It’s my addiction.  I hate being sweaty. Working out is hard. But I know it has to be done to do anything about the way I look and feel. Why are we always so consumed with an easy fix? Why don’t want we ever want to work hard for stuff like that? I’ll be completely honest.  I’m always looking for the next best thing to help me in my weight loss journey. I’m not above trying drinks, shakes, pills… you name it, I’ve probably done it.  And it works for me for a while.  It’s like I need it to give me a shove and to make me think, “I can do this…” I know, I know… hard work, determination, and accountability are the only things that are going to work. Blah, blah… I just want it to be easy dammit. Why can’t it be easier?

                Maybe I’m just lazy.  I work hard at everything else in my life, so why not at trying to lose weight and be healthy? I hate the way I look, that I’m the largest person in my WHOLE family… so how am I not determined? And I can’t expect anyone else to hold me accountable if I can’t even hold myself accountable? What do you do to stay on track (or get back on track)? What has helped you the most to really get to it? What is the biggest thing that was your turning point? 

Weigh In Wednesday- 2014!!

It's that time of week again, and while I know it's actually Thursday, I'm weighing in.

*Dang Holidays*

Today starts a new year for me and I'm ready to make a change for the good.  Here's what I'm doing:

I've started back on my Zeal for Life regiment starting today. Wild Berry Zeal Wellness first thing of a morning for my vitamins and energy (better than coffee!) Then a protein shake made of the Zeal Vanilla Protein Powder, a 1/4 cup frozen blueberries, 1/4 frozen strawberries, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup unsweetened Almond Milk and some ice. YUMMY! This concoction )along with the morning Wellness drink) give me about 330 calories to start the day.

They also have a supplement called "Burn". It says it a "blend of thermogenic fat burners, a natural carb blocker and appetite suppressant. Taken before each meal these powerful ingredients will accelerate your metabolism to burn more calories, reduce your hunger and block the absorption of the carbohydrates that you do eat... " Now, I'm not condoning the use of "supplements" but the rest of the program is very healthy... Wellness is JUST vitamins and minerals that you need, Protein Powder is all natural and stuff that everyone is doing to assist in their healthy lifestyles.  I personally love the program and am excited to get back on it.

I've also signed up for the Resolution Revolution with Jess over at The Girl Who Thought Too Much.

It's a great group of ladies that all want to be healthier for themselves and have an awesome list of goals.  We've got a Facebook group to ask questions, set goals and to make ourselves accountable. She's sending us member shirts, some samples and some great info throughout the month of January. We've already gotten our first motivation email with workouts and recipes, and she's a great inspiration through her own testimony.  You can check out her weight loss journey HERE.

I'm also doing the Jillian Michaels DVD Challenge with several wonderful blogging/IG ladies.  Its 30 days of Jillian (Eek!) on IG and a prize of $150.00 is up for grabs to the favorite loser! It starts today and runs through Feb 2nd and I'm determined to at least DO the challenge.  Winning would be a plus, but its about principal.  Check out the blogs or IG for Holly, Jennifer, Kim, or Melanie for more info if you're interested. Workouts start tonight, and I've purchased the 30 Day Shred and her Yoga Video to help me. I'll also probably do some of my other Yoga video as well, mostly because I love yoga and I figure I'll hate Jillian's yoga. lol My user name on IG is NickoleM123 if you wanna be friends and do the challenge together... Come keep up with me!

I did a shit ton of food prep for the week last night.  Baked Chicken, steamed green beans, steamed carrots, steamed broccoli, and brown rice.

10 meals, all around 175-250 calories. I'm putting my daily caloric intake around 1500, as recommended by my LoseIt App that I have on my phone. I love this app for keeping up with everything from food to exercise. NickoleM123 is my user name on there... Friend me! You input your weight, goal weight, height and age and it calculates your calories based on how you want to lose the weight.  2# per week being the maximum, because that is a healthy rate to lose it. I love looking into my fridge and seeing these meals all tucked away. I also boiled some eggs, and got fresh veggies cleaned and cut for snacks as well.

I'm telling y'all it's a new year and a new me. :) Here's to 2014 and everyone achieving their goals!

New Years, New Me

Yes, I know.  It gets said every year. By almost every one. But this year, it's going to be true for me.
This year, I am determined to be a better me.  A better mommy.  A better girlfriend. A healthier me.
I'm starting the year with goals, but figuring out those goals is one of the hardest things I've done.  Do I set time lines with those goals, or just a general "by the end of the year"? What is considered a "Goal?" Is it worth it to put down?
Here are some of the things I would like to accomplish this next year: (in no specific order)

Be healthy:

I already quit smoking about 6 weeks ago, so I want to include continuing to be smoke free.
Reach a goal weight of 195 by my birthday, July 26. That's about 30 pounds in 7 months.
Reach a Goal weight of 175 by the end of the year.  That's 50! pounds in twelve months. A pound a week...
Meal Plan & Food Prep (because failure to plan, is a plan to fail)
Eat Clean 5 Times a week.  No everyday, but most.
Do Yoga 5 times a week.  I don't care what day it is, or how many times I do it a day, I just want to do it.

Improve my every day life:

Sit to eat my meals. Dinner at least. You seriously have no idea how much more relaxing it is to SIT while eating.
Write down my good things.  Things happen every day that you think you'll remember. I don't.  I have a terrible memory! I want to write them, so that I can reflect on them, when I need a reminder.
Send Birthday Cards.  I know that may sound petty, but I have a friend who ALWAYS sends me a card.  For Mothers day, for Christmas, for my Birthday. I never send cards, but know I should.
Count to 10... I have a TERRIBLE habit of flying off the handle.  Of not having patience. I need to learn patience, and counting to 10 will help.

Long Term Changes:

Pay off my credit cards... cause, uh, duh.
Read 12 books this year.  That's one a month, and I hate to read.  Surely, I can get 12 in this year. Right? Suggestions?
HUNT with my bow.  I always hunt, but I normally use a gun.  My honey bought me a bow last year and I haven't gotten to hunt with it yet. Let alone shoot it this year.  I WILL hunt with it next deer season.


I've currently signed up for the Resolution Revolution with Jess over here...

Hopefully she's got some good stuff worked out for us and we'll get our fitness on after the first! It looks like it's going to be full of advice, support and accountability.  Accountability is a big thing for me.  If I don't feel like someone is paying attention, neither am I! lol  I can't wait for this to get going and to get my member shirt in the mail! Thanks so much for the group Jess! I'm looking forward to starting my year off right.

I've also been checking out the post here with Holly. For the month of January, her friends Melanie, Jenn, Kimmy, and her are hosting a Jillian Michael's challenge for Instagram only. To help them kick off the new year and the beer-bloat, they are doing the "Jillian in January Challenge." All you have to do to join is pick your favorite Jillian DVD. She likes her DVD's because they are only about $9 a Target and they are short enough to do before/after work and actually provide results. You can check out her Shred results HERE.

Thinking about it, but it would mean that I would have to invest in a Jillian DVD, and I've heard she's pretty hard core... awe Hell... It's worth it.  Lets throw this in the mix for 30 days and see just how awesome that 30 day Shred really is.  Looks like Target has it on sale right now for $6.99! WHOOT! (I have Amazon Prime, so I ordered from there to save on shipping!)

What are your goals and how do you plan on achieving them? How do you set your goals?

Hope everyone has a safe and happy new year! I'll be taking my friend Suzan out for her birthday with a great group of ladies, then heading back home to ring in the new year with my Honey for the first time in 3 years.  I can't wait!